How to Eat in Italy like an Italian: 35 Etiquette Tips!
- thereseholland
- Sep 22, 2015
- 12 min read
Everyone’s gotta eat—and the lucky ones will do it in Italy.
After spending two summers in the bel paese, I’ve learned a lot about what is and isn’t okay to do when it comes to eating in Italy. I’ve eaten the wrong thing at the wrong time, gone to a touristy restaurant when I wanted something authentic, and fumbled with my fork and knife, all while trying to learn how to eat the right way. Finally, after months of people watching and asking my Italian boyfriend and his family too many questions about food etiquette, I think I’ve figured out how to eat like an Italian, and I’m here to share my 35 tips with you.
Here’s how to eat like an Italian in the bel paese. It’s harder than you think.
1. Use your fork and knife like a normal person.
Hate to break it to you, American readers, but you use utensils like weirdos. Google it—it’s a thing.
We need to get our act together, because Italians are naturals with utensils. They’ll perfectly twirl that spaghetti into an easy mouthful, spiral-peel that fruit in seconds flat, and slice their meat without selectively picking up and putting down the knife and fork.
Practice makes perfect.
2. Pepperoni pizza is not a thing.
Italians will laugh at you if you ask for a pepperoni pizza. That’s because in Italian, peperoni (that’s right, with one p) means peppers, as in red or green bell peppers. That’s not a common pizza topping, so this will seem like a pretty strange request.
Along with telling his friends we say “paninis” (panini is already plural in Italian), my boyfriend’s favorite funny thing Americans say is “pepperoni pizza”. In his mind, Americans just mess up Italian words for anything food-related.
If you must have a pepperoni pizza, order the Diavola—it’s what Italians would call the pizza you’re thinking of with sliced scicy meat and cheese. Diavola, meaning “devil”, is so named because of the meat we call pepperoni. Italians don’t eat as much spicy food as Americans, so pepperoni is a devilishly hot food for them.
Diavola with prosciutto cotto and mozzarella in Rome. The restaraunt called it the Mafia Pizza for its deadly spiciness.
Speaking of pizza…
3. Don’t put parmesan on your pizza.
Like pepperoni, Parmigiano on pizza is also definitely not a thing, and it’s much more appalling to an Italian than peppers on your margherita.
Margherita pizzas in Naples, the city where Pizza was invented.
Why's that? You ask?
Well, primarily parmesan is used for pasta dishes. Plus, the pizza here is already awesome, and it’s truly sinful to add this random cheese to something already so perfect. Keep the parmesan with some pasta dishes, and leave your precious pizza alone.
On top of that, for a historical reason, Parmasan on pizza means combining a northern food, (Parmesan is from Parma, Italy) with a southern food, pizza (born in Naples). These are different gastronomical traditions that must be respected!
Related posts:
Speaking of Italian food combinations that aren’t a thing...
4. Alfredo is not a sauce.
Alfredo is an Italian dude’s name. Ask for it, and an Italian might say, “io?” (me?) because there is no Italian sauce by this name, only people,
If you see Alfredo sauce on a menu, you’re definitely in a touristy place.
Carbonara at Zi'umberto in Rome.
If you want something creamy and cheesy, try Carbonara, or a pasta with panna (cream) listed in the ingredients. Forget about Alfredo unless it’s the name of your new Italian friend.
5. Spaghetti is a thing. Meatballs are a thing. But they are not a thing together.
In Italy, there’s usually a first plate, followed by a second plate. Meatballs can be served as secondo piatto, after you eat the pasta, but you won’t find these two served on the same plate.
6. Salad dressing? What’s that?
When it comes to food, Italy is wonderfully simple and less commercialized. No industrial salad dressings here (at least not commonly). Salad is eaten with oil and salt—basta (stop). Balsamic can go on salads, but to be honest, it's not something most Italians have on their salads.
Fresella is a Southern Italian dish, with salad on top of a large piece of bread.
Italians like to taste what they’re actually eating (what a strange concept), so their leafy greens aren't usually smothered in bottled dressing stuff. Instead of dressing, enjoy the amazing oil on top of your fresh veggies when you’re all carbed out.
7. Bread is eaten differently here.
Moving past the glorious fact that a BIG loaf of freshly baked bread is usually only 1 Euro here, bread is different here in Italy. It’s rarely bought pre-sliced (remember the salad dressing?) and it’s also not eaten the same way.
When you go out, bread is often served with appetizers. Bread is intended to act as a kind of assistant to your fork and knife, to eat alongside your appetizers. It’s not for dipping in balsamic and oil, the way Italian restaurants often do it in the US.
Bread typically served with the antipasti, or appetizers.
Sometimes, bread is also used to “fare la scarpetta”. This means, to wipe up some extra sauce when you finish your dish. Well, it literally means a cute little shoe, maybe because you drag up some sauce with the bottom of the bread not unlike how you might get some stuff on your shoe. The origin of the term is debated.
Technically, the scarpetta is rude and against proper etiquette rules to do, but so many people do it. Therefore, do not do this if you plan to go to any fancy restaurants. Wiping up the extra sauce is fair game though, if you head to a small casual restaurant or Italian family’s home (more on that at the end of this post).
8. Eggs for breakfast? Gross!
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, and he still makes jokes about how gross it is that Americans and British people eat eggs in the morning every time we enjoy a nice frittata for lunch.
Why? 'Cause in Italy (Spain too, actually) eggs are a lunch and dinner food only. Eggs for breakfast, and God forbid bacon are shocking breakfast options.
That’s because...
9. Sweets are for breakfast.
Cornetti (Italian croissants), graffa (Italian donuts), and even cake are reasonable breakfast items. At home, a kind of cookies are often eaten with some fruit and yogurt. Anything salty for breakfast is totally weird here!
Grab a chocolate cornetto in a local bar before heading out for a day of Italian activities to truly start the day off like an Italian!
Oh, I should mention…
10. Bar means cafe.
Italians use the word “bar” the way most of us would use cafe. If an Italian tells you he's headed to the bar before 10 am, don’t be alarmed (or so damn judgemental!), he’s getting a coffee at a cafe, not a cocktail at a bar bar.
Pictured: cold coffees, not cocktails, at the bar at Cafe San Teo in Rome.
Speaking of coffee, I’ve got a lot to say, so it gets its own section of tips!
EVERYTHING ABOUT ITALIAN COFFEE
11. Cappuccino—also not a thing unless it’s breakfast time.
If you want to blend in with the Italians, it’s fair game to order this coffee drink before 10 or 11 am. This is an explicitly breakfast coffee! Any time after that, and you’ll have Italians skeptically peering at you over their afternoon espresso.
Milk is only for the mornings in Italy, if at all. An Italian would tell you that such a heavy drink any other time of day is just gross! Obviously. In fact, once breakfast time is over, the only coffee you should be drinking is espresso, either “normale” or “caffe freddo”.
And on that note….
12. Try cold coffee.
Caffe freddo (cold coffee) is one of my favorite things in Italy. I know I’m supposed to say pizza or wine or whatever, but this stuff is amazing (actually, so is pizza and wine who am I kidding).
Cafe freddo and a graffa (Italian doughnut)
Caffe freddo is like an Italian espresso slushie. It’s a sweet and wonderfully strong coffee drink for the summertime. No joke, one of these will give you a real jolt, having you excitedly racing around Italy—or straight to the bathroom.
That’s because you should...
13. Be careful with the espresso.
In Italy, coffee is strong. Trust me, that small little cup has more power than any coffee you’ve tried outside of Equatorial coffee capitals.
Caffè del Nonno and other sweets
Try a caffe del nonno (grandfather’s coffee), also known as Crema al Caffè (coffee cream) instead, for a creamy less strong version of espresso. It’s frozen, too, and makes for a nice summer coffee.
Oh, and please pronounce the s in espresso. Expresso? Don’t say that.
15. Drink the water that comes with the espresso first.
The water that arrives alongside your espresso is intended to be consumed first. It cleans your palate, to fully enjoy the amazing taste, and apparently helps the caffeine hit you right away.
Enjoying the famous coffee (and sfogliatella) at Cafe Gambrinus in Naples.
16. Coffee is for after the meal.
It’s weird to order one right before lunch, or have one during your meal, for example. The only exception to this rule is during breakfast. Espresso is a common pick-me-up after a huge lunch or dinner.
Drinking coffee before or during lunch or dinner is gross and will make you sick, obviously—well, at least according to the Italians.
And 'cause coffee isn’t the only thing most people will be drinking...
DRINKING & ALCOHOL TIPS
17. Hold wine by the stem.
Be fancy. But also, the warmth of your hands changes the wine’s temperature and complicated chemical stuff I don’t understand.
My boyfriend on the Amalfi Coast, enjoying wine the Italian way!
18. The smaller wine glass is for wine.
Sometimes, you’ll go to a restaurant and get two wine glasses. The bigger one is supposed to be for water. You also might not be served in a wine glass at all, but a normal cup. That’s common, too.
When wine is served on top of a volcano, glasses are not to be expected.
19. Limoncello is not a shot.
It will be served in a shot glass, but throw it back like a shot and you’ll get some shocked stares and maybe some laughs from Italians. Sip it slowly after dinner to do it the Italian way.
The best limoncello is found in Campania, so try it if you head to the Amalfi Coast, Naples, (and Sorrento), Capri, or other popular spots in the south. It can also be found in Rome, but head further south for the good stuff.
Or enjoy your limoncello in granita (slushie) form!
Related Post:
20. Drink the house wine.
It’s usually really good and really cheap.
21. Know the abbreviations for the best wine and food.
Sometimes in Italy, you’ll see the abbreviations DOP or DOC. These are labels that carry legal significance, as the Italian food tradition is protected by law!
DOP(Denominazione di origine protetta) essentially means that this product is authentic and cannot be reproduced. Mozzarella and wine commonly have this label (when you’re lucky!) It means that the product is from a specific place in Italy, and was created traditionally.
DOC (Denominazione di origine controllata) essentially means that this product is of a high quality.
Wine from the town of Gragnano, near Sorrento. It was so good, and had both the DOC and DOP labels.
Sometimes you’ll see both of these on the same product. Definitely eat or drink whatever it is in that case!
WHERE TO EAT
22. Avoid eating close to any major tourist attraction.
This tip is actually helpful anywhere you travel to, not just Italy. But when in Rome, avoid lunch near the Pantheon, for example.
Oh also, remember when I said Alfredo sauce is not a thing? If this is offered at the restaurant, congratulations! You’ve found yourself in the tourist restaurant. Enjoy the English spoken around you, Bob.
But gelato is a must, especially when close to tourist attractions!
23. Avoid touristy restaurants by avoiding the pushy hosts outside the door.
If there’s someone outside the door asking you to come in, it makes you wonder why they would need someone like that. A great resturant would rely on word-of-mouth and reputation, wouldn't it?
24. Avoid a place with pictures on the menu.
Most likely not good. Same goes for a place that advertises a “tourist menu” ‘cause, duh.
This pizza place had pictures on the menu, but it was really good, so this is a general rule, and is not always the case.
On the other hand...
25. Pictures of people on the walls is a great sign.
Even if you’ve never seen the people sticking their thumbs up with the chef, this means you’re in a good spot. Those are probably Italian celebrities or football players. If they’ve eaten there, you should too.
WHEN TO EAT
26. Restaurants or shops are often closed in the afternoons.
This is especially true in small towns, and may not be the case in bustling tourist areas or in major cities like Rome or Milan. If you plan to go to a cute coastal town, though, keep this in mind.
This is mostly true for restaurants, but it can also be the case for pharmacies and other shops.
27. Generally, Italians eat dinner late.
Knowing this, you can possibly skip the line at historically great restaurants by having an early dinner at 6 pm. However, if you have a long day and late dinner, there could be a wait at the famous spots as late as 10 pm, and you’ll probably see young Italians arriving for dinner by the time you’re ready for bed.
PAYING & MONEY
28. Tip only a little—if at all.
When it comes to food and drink, it’s generally okay not to tip at all. Otherwise, rounding to the nearest euro is pretty common.
In Italy, the 20% tip Americans leave would be strange, even when waiters are this nice!
I explain when and if you should tip in more detail: Should I Tip In Italy? Hmm Kind of.
29. Understand the coperto.
It’s kind of like a tip, but it's not exactly that. It’s a small fee for sitting down at a table, versus eating standing at the bar or getting food to go.
You'll notice, birra in bottiglia (bottled beer) costs a whole 2 EUR more when enjoyed at the table! This was at a restaurant close to the Vatican (see #22 Avoid eating close to a tourist attraction). This additional charge is the coperto.
Eat or have your coffee at the bar to save money. It's what the Italians will probably be doing.
30. Pay for water.
Italians order bottles of water when they’re out. You can ask for tap water, but it’s kind of rude unless it’s to accompany the espresso you just bought. Never ask for tap water without buying anything.
Caffe freddo & l'acqua frizzante.
Sorry, but you’ll have to shell out a few euros for your bottiglia d'acqua naturale. Order frizzante (sparkling) if you want to blend in with the older Italian crowd.
31. Ask for the check.
In Italy, people go out to eat to socialize. Your waiter respects this, and will give you time to sit and chat.
He’ll bring the check (il conto) when you ask for it. It’s not rude to say “il conto, per favore” when you’ve finished and are ready to go. Otherwise, don’t be mad when he takes forever to show up.
Or…
32. Know when to pay before you eat.
Sometimes in a bar or gelateria, you’ll need to pay first, and present the receipt to be served.
You'll almost always have to pay for gelato first. Side note, my nails rarely look this nice!
The best way to know whether or not this is the case, is to watch other people. There will also usually be a cash register sitting separately from where you get the food or drink. This won’t really be the case in a restaurant where you eat dinner.
EATING IN AN ITALIAN’S HOME
33. Know what you’re getting into.
They’re gonna feed you a lot, so get ready. They will be very kind, making sure you're well-fed and happy!
34. Peel your fruits and vegetables.
Italians use a knife to peel fruits and vegetables that are eaten with the skin in other countries. These include peaches, apples, pears, carrots, potatoes, to name a few. You might get strange looks if you bite into fruit directly.
Remember when I said Italians are good with cutlery? Italians peel, and they peel really well. In a few seconds, a peach is peeled in a perfect unbroken spiral.
Practice makes perfetto. With time, you can peel a fruit and eat it like an Italian!
35. Fare la scarpetta!
Remember when I mentioned this wipe up the bread method earlier when I talked about bread? It’s iffy in restaurants, but a must-do in an Italian home. It’s a nice way to show you really enjoyed what your host(s) prepared.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
It’s important to add just one more bonus rule to make sure you eat in Italy the right way…
36. Don’t. count. calories.
It’s not the time or place.
Because you're worth it.
When eating in Italy, remember to savor and relax. Italians like to sit back and relax with a nice espresso. The most important lesson you can take away from this list on how to eat like an Italian, is to enjoy, and not rush the sweet little pleasant moments in life.
If you liked the pictures in this post, here's some more pictures of foods I've had in Italy...
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